Shell - by Caleigh Torf 

SHELL

Have you ever felt like a shell of yourself? Has your mind ever told you that you are not allowed to do the things you love and if you do you will face the consequences? Have you ever felt like you are the victim of identity theft by your own mental illness? Have you ever hated yourself because you can no longer see yourself, you’ve been pulled into the swamp and you can’t see through the muck and you can’t breathe under it all. And by under it all I really mean my own mind. Have you ever been taunted by glimpses of hope only for a train to run you down as you looked down the tunnel into the light? And by train of course I mean my own mind. Have you ever looked into the mirror only to see a ghost? It looks so familiar but you know that can’t be you. You know that you’ve fought to damn hard to have been replaced by your mental illness! Why is it that a mirror can be so scary. You think you’re gunna see bedhead and eye crustys in the morning but instead you see self doubt, you see yourself withering away, you see struggle. Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen hope? Seen life and strength? Seen all that you truly are instead of what your mind tells you to see? Have you ever truly seen yourself for the powerful person you are? 

Written by Caleigh Torf - Accompanying photo by Caleigh Torf

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SHELL